Faith in Public, Faith in Private: The Gap Between What We Confess and How We Live - A Call to Authentic Faith

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The Quiet Gap We Rarely Notice

There is often a quiet gap between who we appear to be in public and who we really are in private. A space between what we confess with our lips and how we live when no one is watching. Most of us do not step into that gap deliberately; we drift into it slowly, shaped by pressure, expectation, fear, and the desire to belong. This is not a post about pointing fingers. It is an invitation to pause and ask an honest question: is the faith I profess in public the same faith I practice in private?

For many of us, this tension shows up in different places. At work, where faith can feel easier to hide than to explain. In church, where appearance can quietly replace authenticity. And especially among those with visible giftings, where the pressure to always seem strong, anointed, and spiritually “together” can make honesty feel risky. Yet God has never been interested in performance. He has always been after the heart.

When Culture Shapes Our Confession

After living outside my home country for some time, I began to notice this gap forming in my own life. Not suddenly, and not intentionally. Just small, almost unnoticeable shifts. I spoke less about my faith at work. I avoided mentioning church. Phrases like “by God’s grace”, “God willing” slowly disappeared from my everyday language at work . At first, it felt like professionalism. Then cultural awareness. Eventually, it became habit.

Back home in Ghana, faith was woven naturally into daily life. Conversations often began and ended with God. Prayers before meetings were normal. Talking about Jesus did not require courage; it was simply part of who we were. But in the West, I encountered a very different rhythm. Faith was private. Religion was something you kept to yourself. Out of many people I met, very few openly identified as Christians.

Without realising it, I adapted. I began speaking one way with believers and another way with non-believers. I softened my language. I filtered my convictions. And one day, I had to admit something uncomfortable: this was no longer just wisdom or sensitivity - it was quiet conformity.

That realisation brought a familiar Scripture into sharper focus: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.’’ Romans 12:2. This verse is often quoted, but rarely examined in the slow, subtle ways it applies to everyday life. Conformity does not always look like outright rebellion. Sometimes it looks like silence. Like blending in. Like shrinking parts of our faith so we do not stand out.

This is not a call to force Christianity on others or to make people uncomfortable. Everyone has the freedom to choose what they believe. But that same freedom invites believers to ask themselves hard questions. At what point does adapting become denying? When does fitting in begin to cost us our witness?

Jesus describes our calling plainly:

“You are the salt of the earth… You are the light of the world.” Matthew 5:13–14

Salt that loses its flavour is no longer useful. Light hidden under a cover serves no one. Neither shouts for attention - but both are meant to be evident.

The Harder Truth Inside the Church

The gap between public confession and private living does not only show up outside the church. Often, it is more pronounced within it.

We call ourselves children of God. We speak of loving Him, serving Him, and wanting to be used by Him. Yet many of us carry private lives that do not align with our public faith. Hidden sins. Quiet compromises. Patterns we excuse because no one sees them.

I once encountered a painful example of this: a church elder actively cheating on his wife. I struggled deeply with it. How does someone stand before God’s people appearing holy while living in deliberate contradiction behind closed doors? How do worship and betrayal coexist?

It would be easy to dismiss this as an extreme case. But if we are honest, many of us participate in quieter versions of the same behaviour. We lie. We pretend. We harbour bitterness. We mistreat those closest to us. We obey God selectively - embracing what is comfortable and ignoring what is costly. God help us!

Grace is often mentioned here - and rightly so. God is gracious. He is loving. He is forgiving. But Scripture helps us understand grace properly, not sentimentally:

“All our righteous acts are like filthy rags.” Isaiah 64:6

This verse humbles us. It reminds us that righteousness is not something we perform for God’s approval. We do not impress Him with appearances, titles, or roles. Grace is not a reward for looking holy; it is a gift for those who recognise their need.

Yet grace is not an excuse to remain unchanged.

“Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means!” Romans 6:1–2

God does not demand perfection, but He does desire sincerity - hearts that are being shaped, not staged and he disires our growth as seen in 1 Peter 2:1-3, “Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious.”

When Gifting Becomes Performance

This struggle is especially heavy for leaders and those with visible giftings. Pastors. Ministers. Worship leaders. Prophetic voices. There is often an unspoken pressure to always be strong, always victorious, always “on point.” When life becomes messy, some feel forced to hide behind their gifting rather than bring their whole selves before God.

But God did not give giftings so we could impress people.

He gave them so His love could flow through us.

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace.” 1 Peter 4:10. Giftings are not masks. They are vessels.

To every man or woman of God carrying the burden of appearing perfect: please don’t put that pressure on yourself. God never asked you to perform. He asked you to be faithful. He is far more interested in who you are becoming than in how you are perceived.

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at… the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

So this is a gentle call - not to perfection, but to alignment.

To choose integrity over image.

To allow our private devotion to match our public confession.

Faith lived authentically may be imperfect, but it is real. And real faith does not point people to us - it points them to God.

Closing the Gap: Walking Toward Authentic Faith

This is not about becoming perfect overnight.

It is about small, honest steps taken consistently.

Maybe we begin here:

1. Invite God to Search You

Integrity begins in hidden places. “Search me, O God, and know my heart… See if there is any offensive way in me.” Psalm 139:23–24

Hypocrisy survives where we avoid reflection.

When we regularly invite God into our motives and private thoughts, He gently realigns us.

Not dramatic repentance. Just daily surrender.

I am learning to pray this more often too.

2. Practice Small Acts of Visible Faith

Closing the gap does not require grand gestures.

It may simply mean:

• acknowledging church naturally,

• saying “I’ll pray about that,”

• not shrinking your convictions to fit the room.

“You are the salt of the earth… You are the light of the world.” — Matthew 5:13–14

Salt seasons. Light shines. Neither hides.

3. Strengthen Your Private Devotion

If our public faith grows louder while our private life with God grows weaker, performance will replace authenticity. “When you pray, go into your room, close the door…” Matthew 6:6

Private intimacy sustains public integrity, not image, not reputation but relationship.

4. Release the Pressure to Be Perfect

Especially for those with giftings. God did not call you to perform. He called you to serve.

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others…” — 1 Peter 4:10

Weakness honestly surrendered is safer than strength carefully staged.

I am still learning this too. Slowly. One day at a time.

Authentic faith is not built in one big decision.

It is built in daily alignment. And maybe that is enough not perfection, but progress.

A Prayer for Alignment

Dear God,

Please help us.

Search our hearts and align our lives with Your truth. Free us from the pressure to pretend and the fear of being seen. Teach us to live the faith we confess - not for human approval, but for Your glory.

In Jesus name,

Amen.